2021 Reboot Roulette: Celebrity couples we’d love to see back together
OMG. Okay, so these are my OBSESSION CONFESSIONS. I know, maybe it’s a little embarrassing, but come on… Surely I can’t be the only one? This series is about all the things that we can’t take our eyes off, the latest viral TikTok trends, the secret infatuations with certain former boyband members…okay I’m only going to say this one more time, surely I can’t be the only one?
Perhaps nothing can make you question life and death more than the year from hell we’ve all just been through… And often what follows when questioning your own mortality is that your mind begins to wonder about the things that could have been. Naturally, this train of thought leads you to the ‘one that got away’, because we all have one (or in my case, several). With the recent re-coupling of JENNIFER LOPEZ and BEN AFFLECK, the IT couple of the early 2000’s who are currently bombarding your social media with holiday romance pics, you may just be thinking about your own personal Bennifer.
You might find that old flames are resurfacing and stumbling into your Instagram DMs. Bloody hell, if Gossip Girl can get a 2021 reboot, why can’t you two? While I can sit and muse about which boy to get back in touch with, ultimately it’s a doomed fate. It’s the living tale of Romeo and Juliet but instead of death, I dye my hair a shade of mahogany reminiscent of a 2010 Cheryl Cole and he dates someone without a sense of humour to recover from the fact I solely talk in memes. A leopard never changes its spots and a skater boy never changes his Stüssy t-shirt.
So instead of playing Russian roulette with unsaved numbers on my phone, I’ve made a definitive list of former IT couples I’d like to see get back together. Honourable mentions here go to; Fiona Apple and DAVID BLAINE, SIENNA MILLER and Jude Law and of course, TINA BURNER and GRAHAM NORTON (never Bradley Cooper and SUKI WATERHOUSE after Lolita-gate).
ARIANA GRANDE and Pete Davidson
Had this celebrity coupling never occurred we would not have two very important things; the song Thank U, Next and the term ‘Big Dick Energy’. In the couple’s prime, The Cut published ‘You Know He Got That Big Dick Energy’ about a now-deleted tweet where Ariana Grande, Davidson’s fiancé at the time, claimed the comedian was packing 10 inches of Pete meat. I never cared for Grande before her and Pete but at that moment I thought; she’s just like me. The most compelling image from the whole relationship? Ariana Grande suckling a lollipop looking up in complete awe at her boyfriend whilst gallivanting the streets of New York. The mind boggles thinking about these two, it was unhinged, horny and short lived. Bring it back.
LINDSAY LOHAN and SAMANTHA RONSON
Many often forget about actress Lindsay Lohan and DJ Samantha Ronson (sister of Mark), but for a brief moment in 2008 the pair were spotted everywhere together across Los Angeles. They had a classic toxic, whirlwind Hollywood romance - with Lohan once famously tweeting “Fun @ coachella but tonight @ my friends bday party, @samantharonson spit in my face and left w/ @mileycyrus‘s ex.” It’s also rumoured that after their split Lohan moved into a house next door to Ronson’s. They were lustful then petty. Totally relatable. Another one we deserve to see again.
ALEXA CHUNG and Alex Turner
During the late 2000’s these two had Indie kids everywhere in a chokehold, they were the Anthony and Cleopatra of Tumblr. The beauty of this relationship was that they kind of looked the same and basically had the same name, haircut and personal style so no one really knew who they fancied more - you could argue their relationship had merged them into one brunette shaggy fringed unit. The Arctic Monkeys frontman's soppy little love letter to Chung practically wrecked Tumblr after it was left in a bar in 2008 and sold on to The Sun. For the sake of girls with fringes everywhere, we need these two back together.
BRITNEY SPEARS and Colin Farrell
Although it was fleeting - their relationship lasted no longer than a matter of days - I think we can all agree what an intriguing and hot couple this was. For a very, very brief period of time in 2003, the pop sensation and Irish actor were reportedly rampantly necking eachother at the Chateau Marmont, with Spears telling W Magazine in July 2003 "Yes, I kissed him ... He's the cutest, hottest thing in the world — wooh! ... But it was nothing serious." Maybe a celebratory snog between the pair is due when Brit is finally free?
BJÖRK and GOLDIE
On a personal note, Björk and Goldie are one of my favourite celebrity pairings of all time. The two singers were one of the coolest couples of the mid 1990’s with the duo even collaborating for Isobel’s Lonely Heart, a DnB remix of Björk’s track and it’s *chefs kiss* (coming from someone who DnB is basically Latin to). They were simply a meeting of musical minds. Can we please have them back? For the sake of culture!