Fashioning your fangs: why the world is accessorising our incisors
OMG. Okay, so these are my OBSESSION CONFESSIONS. I know, maybe it’s a little embarrassing, but come on… Surely I can’t be the only one? This series is about all the things that we can’t take our eyes off, the latest viral TikTok trends, the secret infatuations with certain former boyband members…okay I’m only going to say this one more time, surely I can’t be the only one?
Are you dressing up to take the bins out in your “Gucky” mules? Are you sprucing up your veg-slicing by decorating your hands in La Manso? Perhaps you’ve even got your foot stuck in the forgotten terrain of wearing stilettos and fighting through the calf-cramp of a lifestyle once second nature? Or maybe you’re quite the opposite. You’re heaving every time you read someone say they’re “all dressed up with nowhere to go.” Could it, in fact, be topping the most jarring word of the century: the unprecedented? Is it worse than the new *we wince to say it* normal?
Dressing up right now is hard. Some days, you might feel like donning your EYTYS, and some days your soiled sweatpants and ketchup-stained Girls Aloud concert t-shirt will simply do. For all intents and purposes, the code of conduct when it comes to the modicum of dress has gone totally out of the window. Will you get side-eyed by your Zoom opponent as they judge you for wearing a blazer? Will they feel stupid for not? After all, there’s a psychology behind how to dress, right? And little did we realise the reason why we all subconsciously write ‘please see the above,’ in our emails, is because we’re all sporting starkers on the bottom with our smart cash on the top. Eyes up, please.
When the meaning of dress is in such a state of flux and we’re exhausted by the slobbery or jaded by putting clothes in the washing machine that never technically saw the light of day, where do we go to next when our wardrobes are failing to break up the monotony? While they - the Tories - might have taken our salons and our hairdressers; our talons and our stennies; and we might be swinging between a daily equilibrium of pyjamas and Zooms, that said, they’ll never take our teeth. That’s right. When the world goes tits up and people can hardly see what you’re wearing behind your 16:9 aspect ratio, why not touch-up your teeth and start accessorising your incisors?
Think about it, your gnashers are on show for every man and his child screaming in the background, which makes sense for the rising cult of tooth jewels making waves on Instagram. While we scour our wardrobes in search of self-expression, what better than to reunite with our withered lockdown souls than dressing our most intimate body parts? From enamel caps to grills, the dental dainties are sprucing up our rarefied smiles like Joe Pesci’s blinging grin in the Christmas classic. Whether your thing is engraved fangs and garnet grills from the likes of CLOVA-RAE SMITH or something like LONDON GRILLZ, known for decking out Rita Ora’s tusks with custom gold designs, there’s something in the world of tooth bling just for you.
But if the decorative gum shields don’t fit well with your Invisalign, keep your mouth more modest with tooth gems. Small rhinestone jewels attached to the surface of the tooth with an adhesive (and lasting up to 2 years) @crystalcanine and @kiasmilebeauty are two such designers who can put the playboy bunny on your pearlies. Despite the halcyon days for the oral trend back in the 1980’s, the tooth charms are making their comeback for 2021 as we look for ways to embellish the same tired old face we see every morning in the mirror. At least this way, there’s more chance of you actually being able to grin and bare it.
Header Image: Courtesy of @clovajewellery