‘Where Love Lives’ is the new documentary celebrating the queer nightlife community
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As we pass the first anniversary marking the beginning of lockdown, the thought of going to a club and having the time of our lives is a joyful yet very distant memory. The lack of nightlife during the pandemic has been especially tough for the LGBTQ+ community, which for decades has created venues and events that have become safe spaces within the scene – not only celebrating the freedom of expression, but also giving queer people the possibility to connect with like-minded individuals and build an accepting and loving chosen family.
The importance of the queer club scene is the subject of the new documentary Where Love Lives, released yesterday by GLITTERBOX, a company known for its spectacular events in London, New York and Ibiza. The film, now available to watch on YouTube, features nightlife icons DJ HONEY DIJON and Kathy Sledge (member of the ‘70s disco group Sister Sledge), alongside actor and fashion superstar, BILLY PORTER, who admits emotionally in the documentary, “The only reason why I’m still alive is because I found life on the dance floor.” We spoke to three performers featured in the film, TETE BANG, THE MX FIT and LUCY FIZZ, about their love for the nightlife scene, the significance of clubs in creating queer safe spaces and their most euphoric party moments.
Martin Onufrowicz: Do you remember when your love for the nightlife scene first started?
TeTe Bang: During the nineties, my mum used to take me to psytrance raves in the forest - she worked in nightlife and had a real love for the dance floor, so I guess I inherited it from her. However, I think there was a point when I looked around me and saw a community of people who loved me and allowed me to dance as freely as I wanted (probably rolling around on the floor in a g-string in the basement of Vogue Fabrics in Dalston or swinging off the poles at Savage disco).
The Mx Fit: I remember it like it was yesterday… I had already been out and done drag in Paris, but nothing felt quite like my first night out in London. Nobody looked the same, no one was staring at one another and this overall feeling of belonging was in the atmosphere. Everyone I was introduced to that night was very friendly and this moment marked the beginning of my long love for nightlife.
Lucy Fizz: It when I was around 17. I had just begun to experiment with my gender identity and would go out dancing with my friends presenting as Lucy. Away from the reality of the outside world, the dance floor offered me a new-found freedom to be myself. But it wasn't until I found the queer scene in London that I truly felt at home. Meeting all these fabulous, like-minded people was a revelation. My trans identity was transformed from something that I had always been made to feel ashamed of, into something that I could be proud of and celebrated for.
MO: When did you realise that you wanted to be a performer and how did you become part of the scene?
TB: I had always been a bit of a show off, I used to produce one-woman shows for my mum as a kid to the entirety of Madonna’s Immaculate album. When I got to my late teens, I became really interested in cabaret and drag and their sense of story-telling. Because of the prejudice I experienced and lack of future I saw for myself in my rural hometown, I jumped on a National Express bus with one month’s rent and moved to London in search of something bigger. I started dressing up and making costumes, going out by myself to queer clubs and parties, and eventually built a network and a community of friends.
MF: I believe I was born a performer, my mom always tells the story of how during her ultrasound the doctor told her, “your child is going to be a dancer” because I kept moving in her belly. In my family and also my culture, music and dance are very important. We dance for any occasion and in any circumstances. I did my first performance live in front of an audience when I was four (in ripped baggy jeans and a white shirt tied in a front knot), so it’s something I’ve always done. I naturally got into the scene from that first night out in London, I met some fab people who invited me to The Box in Soho and I showed up in an ‘80s ripped wedding dress, snapback veil lace cap, danced my ass off on the stage and was offered a trial shift at the end of the night. Fast-forward to that trial shift, I got introduced to Lucy Fizz who I was shadowing that night.
LF: Because the dance floor has always felt like a safe space for me, the shyness and social anxiety I usually carry around with me melts away as soon as I step foot under the disco ball and I become this wild thing. Before I started working as a performer, I would go out dancing almost every night of the week and would invariably end up dancing on top of the bar or a speaker in the club. After a while, promoters realised how infectious my energy was and started to book me for their parties. One of my first bookings was to go and perform at Glastonbury's infamous queer club The NYC Downlow. It was this week of rolling around in the mud that really established me as part of the scene.
MO: What are the freedoms and powers that being a performer gives you?
TB: Performing gives me a space to express myself, to use costume, make-up and movement to express how I feel and what I think in a way that my voice and presence in mainstream society doesn’t. It’s my medium, a collage almost, when I’m on stage. Whether you know it or not, I’m telling you a story and it’s one that is authentic to me and that liberates me. I’m able to explore and express different parts of my own identity, my gender, my femininity, my masculinity, my queerness and I feel so fortunate that I found my way expressing that - I hope that everybody in life finds the thing that sets them free.
MF: From the minute I step on that stage it’s a protest! A testimony! My power is knowing I went against all the odds and against everything I was once told I would never be. It’s powerful to know that we can encourage people to be more daring, more themselves and less what society and beauty standards expect us to be. The feeling of freedom for me is knowing I’m doing things on my own terms, and you can take it or leave it! I get to be myself in any shape and form, and this feels amazing.
LF: What I love most about being a performer is the power you have to connect with a whole room of people. When you're feeling the music and going wild and you can see people in the crowd reacting and feeding off of that energy and losing themselves in the music too, it gives me goosebumps. For me, there's no greater high than this collective euphoria of the dance floor.
MO: In what ways do you think the club scene becomes a safe space for the queer community?
TB: The history of queer people and people of colour as the founders of the dance floor is what has historically made these spaces safe. The people who were and are the most marginalised will always create a space for themselves. When you are in a queer safe space, we all have an understanding that this is a place where we don’t judge or mock, but instead we celebrate and amplify each other. There should be a zero-tolerance approach to discrimination so that everybody feels welcome and equal to express themselves. I believe it’s the role of those that have the privilege of being cis gendered to make sure that out trans siblings are safe and to speak up if you see or hear something that is wrong.
MF: When the world can be tough and not always safe for us, we find an outlet on the dance floor. We’re not only dancing, we are celebrating each other and what starts in the club, we then take it out there with us and apply in everything we do! We meet people who can relate to us and we bond over our experiences. Look at that Ballroom culture, what it has done for the QTPOC. The concept of houses and chosen family, how daily struggles and rejections got converted into this beautiful art form... Several decades later and we are still influenced by it!
LF: By being able to create our own club nights and parties, queer people have been able to establish safe spaces within nightlife that often don't exist for us in the outside world. When the majority of spaces are geared towards heteronormative experiences, it is vital that LGBTQI+ spaces exist so that we are able to come together, express ourselves freely and celebrate our community.
MO: What role does the queer club scene have in shifting the notions of identity in the mainstream?
TB: Queer nightlife has a way of physically showing people that unity and common ground is possible, that there can be a place to unify people. As queer people, we have always been at the forefront of culture and will continue to be, and I believe it is our duty to have an active role in teaching the mainstream how it’s done. Whether that be on the dance floor with music as a universal unifier, or our presence at the front of rallies and protests fighting for equality, our simple action of existing and being visible within a space has the power to teach and open the minds of a bigger audience.
MF: Because we were lacking representation and we’re being suppressed in the outside world, we express ourselves in the club and naturally help others to ask themselves the questions the world was not ready to answer. We chopped the wood and built our own stage. Now that we have the attention, we are responsible for the diversity and inclusivity, and by doing that we’re proving that there’s more to self-identity than what we’ve been taught. This will help others come to terms with themselves and being accepted without fear of repercussion.
LF: I think dance floors offer this moment of suspended reality where we are able to escape from everything that's going on in the outside world. We're all just bodies dancing together and the social constructs and differences that usually separate us in our daily lives don't seem to matter so much, so we're able to see one another more as equals. I remember when I used to perform with Sink the Pink, taking this queer pop party fronted by a gaggle of hot mess drag queens to festivals up and down the country, people who would never usually go to a queer club would end up having the best time partying with us. I think if you can have a fab time dancing with someone you'll be able to take that feeling away from the dance floor and into your everyday life and hopefully those differences between you won't matter so much anymore.
MO: How have you been making sure that your community stays strong during the pandemic, which has so greatly affected the nightlife?
TB: I think we have been really proactive and creative with the ways we have stayed connected. There have been so many amazing live streams and DJ sets that have been made accessible to an even larger audience now, simply because its available online. Defected and Glitterbox were giving the public everything they needed, and I actually really enjoyed dancing around my living room filming their streams, there have been drag shows and even bingo! I personally spent a bit of time sharing my creative process more, I made some crafty tutorials and taught people a few of my draggy tricks. I also created a series of LGBTQ+ history lessons about trailblazing queer women, using drag as a visual, which I’ve really enjoyed and would never have the time to get around to normally.
MF: I stayed in touch with my chosen family, reminded them that it’s okay to do less, or nothing sometimes. To take time for self-care and self-love. That we don’t have to stay toned and in shape. To look after your mental health, disconnect from social media and create. We also created our own dance floor at home and found a way to dance together.
LF: Live stream club nights have been such an amazing way to lift everyone's mood and keep the community spirit alive during the pandemic. This is something that Glitterbox and Defected have done really well. Whenever we've done one of these events the comments in the chat are always so full of joy and love, you can see how even coming together virtually can really enrich peoples' lives. I hope that this forced break has made people realise the huge social and cultural value of nightlife.
MO: What has been your most memorable or euphoric moment on the dance floor?
TB: I’ve had so many, I don’t even know where to begin! There is no feeling like the last song of the night at Glitterbox’s Ibiza closing parties. At that point it’s like you have ran a marathon, you’ve done a summer of back to back weekends in this huge womb-like space and you have created all these memories through moments that have happened on the dance floor, you have such a bond with the space and the crowd you’ve been with all summer and suddenly your about to be birthed back into the world and you don’t want to leave. Every time we chant ONE MORE SONG at the end of the night along with the crowd, it’s just the best feeling in the world when the DJ presses play again and you just lose your mind and throw all of your energy into the last 60 seconds of the party, I love it every single time.
MF: Defected Croatia 2019 when I was dancing with Honey Dijon who got her breast out mid set. I look up to her so much, and her level of “zero fucks given” is something I aspire to master one day, she dances to the beat of her own drum! She’s such a powerhouse! This was such a euphoric moment that I cherish so much, I’m actually hoping to have more moments like that with her. I’m totally fan-girling her to be honest – Honey, if you’re reading this, I love you!
LF: Gosh! There are so many it's hard to choose. The last Glitterbox at Printworks was an epic event and I feel so lucky to have had that fresh in my mind just before the world went into lockdown. Defected Croatia is also pretty high up on my list, the whole festival was just incredible, but the sense of community blew me away. Everyone coming together for the love of house music. The euphoria was real, I cried tears of joy every day I was there.
‘Where Love Lives’ is available to watch on YouTube here.